Chapter ?

We’ve all heard the saying, “Don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20.” It’s an amazing mantra to keep in the back of your head, unfortunately it’s not the easiest. Jealousy is one of the worst things to feel for me personally, because I feel like I have zero control in making that jealousy go away. It’s also difficult because I can’t ever seem to find my footing and feel confident in where I am in my life. I’m always caught up in comparing what I’m doing or not doing, to someone else’s life. This immediately leads me to not feel good enough or that I’m not working hard enough. This, friends, is one of my biggest resolutions not just for 2018, but for my life.

I constantly wonder why I spend so much time on Instagram, because I know this is the source of this feeling. It goes one of two ways when I’m scrolling through my feed;

#1: “How did she get to do that and I didn’t? Wow, she looks better than I do. I’m so jealous of that/this.”

#2: “Well I’m doing better than they are. At least I have this and they don’t.”

I mean… WHO IS THIS EVIL PERSON IN MY HEAD?!?! Even typing it just now, it seems disgusting to me. I guess that’s why they call jealousy the ‘little green monster’ because that’s exactly what it is; a monster.

The first step for me has been recognizing and acknowledging the monster. “Hi, hello, I do not like you.” I can’t fix the problem without acknowledging that there is one. I know I don’t want to live the rest of my life with these mindsets. They make me feel awful. This is what has led me to start practicing the fine art of focusing on my journey and to stop dwelling on others’. I say practice because I need to make it a habit. I want to start celebrating other’s successes and having a genuine feeling of joy, not dread. I want to learn how to truly feel and enjoy the wonderful things that happen in my life and not worry about what everyone else is doing or thinking about my life.

Truth is, everyone has a plan for their lives already mapped out. At least, this is what I choose to believe. There is nothing you can do differently other than be yourself in this life. There will be joys and heartbreaks, but I believe they all lead you to the happiness you were destined to have. Life isn’t always as glamorous as the internet makes it seem. Someone’s greatest dream realized might turn into them realizing they want to chase a different dream. Guess what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with people making decisions to make themselves happy. Happiness is hard. We are in no position to judge anyone for any reason, ever. This was a humbling realization for me to make as I myself, was scrolling through Instagram, judging others’ lives. We never know what’s really going on in someone’s life. Instagram shows the highlights, which we’re all happy to share, despite our lowlights that we all have going on. This should make us even more appreciative of the highlight reels, because celebrating the highs in life is what makes life joyful.

So next time you get jealous or down on yourself, try to remember that your time for joy is on its way. Be happy for others’ joy because you don’t know how long they’ve been waiting their turn. Everything in your life happens for a reason. Your path is your path. Your book is your book. Your chapter is your chapter. Don’t try to skip ahead.

xo – Megster