“What is your relationship status?”
A question asked by Aunts at family gatherings, social media, guys at the bar. We as people in our 20’s are divided into two groups – single and not single. My question is why do both sides come with guilt? Its something we all do, because we were taught that way. We are constantly told that being single is the best time of your life – but also expected to be engaged, married and have babies by the time we hit our 30’s. We are constantly told to do both, BE both – the wild single girls living it up, traveling the world discovering our true selves while single in our 20’s – but also meeting the loves of our lives and planning our future weddings. How in the world are we supposed to do both? In a world of expectations, this is just another one that I have been witness to. Why is it that we glorify being single, but then self deprecate ourselves by joining the “forever alone lol” and “pizza is my date” movement? Why when a girl in her 20’s is single just “waiting for ‘the one’”? Why is it that when a girl has a serious relationship, she automatically isn’t as focused on her career, and is, “only concerned about getting a ring” ? All I know is that this world is hard enough with out thinking that we are handling love wrong. Every single girl in their 20’s has a different story that lead them to where they are. Each adventure builds a part of your story. Whether that be you are in a relationship or not. I have been the wild single girl, and I have been the one in a serious relationship, and I have felt some sort of guilt as both girls. Why is that? Why does a woman always have to feel less than she is because of her relationship status? I’m not sure the message I am trying to convey in all of this – except for the fact that you should not shame yourself for being single, or shame yourself for being in a relationship. Just because you are single doesn’t mean you love less, doesn’t mean that you will be alone forever and no one loves you – and it certainly doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you because you are single. If you are in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you are missing out on discovering who you are ‘really supposed to be,’ and that you aren’t as focused on your career/dreams as the single girls. Your path is your path. And it is destined to be filled with love, excitement and adventures, regardless if you are sharing it with a significant other or getting a table for 1. You/we deserve a life feeling our absolute best each and every single day. Celebrating our stories – whether it be a girls trip to the beach or your dream wedding. A celebration of YOUR life, YOUR story should never include feeling guilty for not being on the other side. My point is, your relationship status is extremely important, but it’s the relationship with your story you live everyday– and feeling good, confident and happy about about that story, the only Relationship status that needs to be discussed when it comes down to it don’t you think?